Can’t I be just a little attractive?

I read this article, When Medicine Makes You Fat, in the New York Times.

Is it me? Or is there absolutely no consideration that it’s possible to be attractive and fat?  And she was really upset to be a size 8? Really?

I’m not saying she has no right to complain about side effects. I’ve been on enough medications to know that they are real and sometimes as bad as the disease itself. What I am saying is that a young woman who assumes that if she gains weight she should hole up in her apartment because her life is over. What?!?

She may be “more than her disease” but she certainly doesn’t think she’s not more than her waistline.

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April 6, 2009. Tags: , . diet, weight. Leave a comment.

Melt

180

Not long ago I was thinking “If I can just get to 175 again, back to my New York weight, when I walked everywhere, I’ll be happy with that.” Not any more. I’m already 5lbs away from that.

I struggled to get back there for 4 years with all kinds of insane exercise regimes. Cathe’s Boot Camp 4 days a week and biking and walking all at the same time. I would have done Biggest Loser proud. Nothing. Now I’m almost there in 20 days. That’s 3/4 of a pound a day. Do I doubt I’ll be in the 170s by Saturday? I would be shocked if I weren’t at least 179.

So that goal weight of 175 seems silly now.  Should the new goal be 150, 25lbs less and 20lbs lighter than I’ve ever been?  Even if the current rate slows by half, I’d reach that goal by the end of March. So 130 by June? I have no idea what I’ll look or feel like at either 150 or 130; I’ve never weighed that little.

It’s like a weird experiment. If I just keep going will I just keep losing? How low can I go? When I started this, I said I would have a piece of cake on my birthday. I’m not sure I will.

January 24, 2008. goals, weight, wonder. Leave a comment.

What are you weighting for?

I weigh 182 pounds. I haven’t weighed this little in about 4 years. I’ve lost 13lbs in 17 days by cutting out most carbohydrates from, and adding fat to, my diet.

I’ve never been diet crazy. I am not one of those people who’s been on every diet under the sun. In fact I’ve only been on Weight Watchers, which I think is the most sensible low fat, low calorie diet plan out there. In the past 18 years I’ve joined WW half a dozen times. Two of those times I lost 50+ pounds. Unfortunately they were the same 50lbs. I would lose that much weight, then stall around 175. My goal weight was always 25-40lbs away. I would keep the weight I had lost off for 2 or 3 years then it would come back.

When I moved to Austin 5 years ago without a job and not knowing anyone, I gained 40lbs in 6 months topping out at about 220. I decided dieting was insane (doing something over and over and expecting a different result). I consciously chose not to diet, but work on just doing what I wanted to do anyway and accepting myself as I am. My barely subconscious goal was to lose weight by exercising. Biking, running, swimming, karate, scuba diving, yoga. I wanted to be as active as possible to take off the pounds. I also stopped eating at the fastest of the fast foods like McDonalds. I lost 20lbs. In three years.

I’m not very good at this blogging thing: I didn’t weight myself or take measurements the first day. I weigh myself erratically. Although I’m starting to weigh myself on Saturdays. That seems like a good day. I’m not following any specific book, not Atkins, not the Zone, not whatever else is out there. I don’t want to follow random rules for the rest of my life. I’m just eating meat, fish, eggs, cheese/dairy, vegetables and fats. Butter is good. I just added fruit back into the mix a few days ago. When I lose more weight I’ll try to add whole grains back into my diet. A life without bread seems kind of sad. Especially since I make amazing bread. And a life without sugar… too bad I went to pastry school.

January 14, 2008. diet, fat acceptance, Uncategorized, weight. Leave a comment.